I returned to the Big House on Saturday for the first time since 2012, when Michigan scored a hard-fought -- and what then seemed meaningful -- 12-10 victory against Michigan State, the first win against the Spartans since 2007.
What I saw on the field Saturday was something entirely different, unrecognizable in every way from what existed four years ago. Just like the City of Ann Arbor itself, which has seen businesses come and go in just the past few years, Michigan has gone forth with an entirely new business model.
From the very beginning, Michigan flashed its new-age business acumen. The Wolverines took another ride on the M Train, capping a long touchdown drive, the first of four touchdown drives to start the game. The Wolverines set up in a row, like camel riders in the desert, one behind the other, sowing some degree of momentary confusion in the sand.
Then, action. Winged helmets move like electrons around a nucleus of stolid protons and neutrons, zipping to and fro, changing the makeup of the structure, stabilizing and destabilizing, but most importantly, changing. It's difficult to say how much the M Train -- maybe the People Mover is a more physically and locally apropos nickname -- actually flummoxes a defense, but its early returns are indicative of efficacy.
The Michigan offense emerged from the M Train car, headed downtown or uptown or out of town, and lost in the ruckus of travelers was Jake Butt, who crossed the middle of the field for an easy 3-yard touchdown grab (which I saw unfold beautifully from my end zone seats in section 34).
And just like everything Michigan is doing these days, it looked too easy.
You can say Michigan's level of competition hasn't been great, but, then again, great compared to what? The Wolverines have dispatched a very good Wisconsin team, easily handled a Penn State team that just beat Ohio State, eventually handled a Colorado team is that one of the biggest surprises of 2016, and easily handled non-power conference teams (Hawaii and UCF) that, at the very least, appear to be not totally horrendous (UCF is third in the American Athletic Conference's East division, while Hawaii is second in the Mountain West's West division).
The only moments of tension in the stadium occurred when Chris Evans went down on the turf, and later when Illinois scored a touchdown.
Michigan games this year have been an exercise in cognitive dissonance, not unlike watching certain once-in-a-generation players run, like Vince Young or Jabrill Peppers. The frequently uttered sentiment about Young was "he doesn't seem to be moving fast" -- then you look and he's outpaced the chasing defensive ends and the linebackers, and pulls away from the defensive backs like a sports car racing past a fleet of rickety minivans.
The Wolverines, similarly, have cruised through some of these blowouts with remarkable ease. Sure, facing Illinois' third-string quarterback had something to do with it, but the Wolverines managed to put the game away before anyone in the stadium even had the chance to ask their neighbors about their post-game plans. Main Street? Sure, but let's sing The Victors for the 38th time first.
Not long after that, Tyrone Wheatley Jr. caught a ball in the middle of the field and cruised 21 yards to the end zone, looking like Devin Funchess if Funchess gained 40 pounds and didn't lose any speed.
Illinois did get a first down on its next drive, but Michigan responded to this grave injustice with its customary Gradgrindian efficiency: 10 plays, 81 yards, capped by none other than DJ Khalid. Touchdown runs of greater than 1 yard are unseemly, and Mr. Hill does not bother with them.
And with all of Michigan's shiny new offensive weapons, namely Evans and Eddie McDoom, it's been surprisingly easy to forget that De'Veon Smith is the senior back who's been through it. Against the Illini, however, he carried it a season-high 18 times, and ran in Michigan's fourth touchdown of the first half. Like the linebacker position, the running back spot has evolved from a preseason sea of disparate pieces to a working committee of diverse, talented players. Smith does Smith, Evans does Evans, Ty Isaac does Ty Isaac. Anthony Thomas, Chris Howard, Clarence Williams -- there's a pretty nice precedent.
And that's all without even mentioning Karan Higdon, who on pure running ability might be Michigan's most complete ball carrier -- this is a guy who carried the ball 11 times for 19 yards in 2015. He carried it eight times for 106 yards on Saturday.
On what was a sunny, beautiful day, I couldn't have asked for a better homecoming. "The Victors" sounds much better during a blowout win than in the waning seconds of yet another defeat.
Michigan is now 7-0 for the first time since 2006 and just the fourth time in 40 years (the others being 1986 and 1997). In the final days of October, the air of perfection builds, breathing palpably -- the form of expectation wisps like frosty breath.
Later, running toward my end zone, Higdon weaved his way through the Illini defense, 45 yards for another Michigan score. Having not been to a game in several years, the feeling of being in on something that's about to happen came back to me. He hit the hole to the right side, unperturbed by any defensive presence, but eventually cut back to the middle and then carried a couple of Illini defenders for the final two or three yards.
It looked easy.
That's probably because it was just that. And while homecoming crowds at Michigan Stadium tend to be somewhat subdued to begin with, this crowd gave off the air of one watching a game without a sliver of tension.
No tension makes for boring games, but that's sort of the whole reason for the path Michigan has taken: so many games that should have been boring were not boring. Hence, fired coaches, then Harbaugh.
With that said, no matter how dominant Michigan has been, Ohio State's loss at Penn State on Saturday is proof that guards must stay up. Michigan closes its season with three out of five games on the road, including a much-anticipated trip to East Lansing this Saturday. On Nov. 12, Michigan heads to Iowa City for a night game -- while the Hawkeyes don't appear to be nearly at the same level as last year, night games are night games. A mistake here, a mistake there, and what should be a boring game becomes a nail-biter becomes a loss.
But, Michigan can only cross that bridge when it gets to it. For now, the road has been far easier than expected. After all, there's no place like home.
I look back on my senior year at Michigan, 2010, and feel as if I'm watching a different program entirely. That year, Michigan took crushing home losses, all by double digits, against Iowa, Michigan State and Wisconsin, the latter of which encapsulated Michigan's inability to stop much of anything. Michigan was one-dimensional, unorganized, dependent on vague, sporadic bursts of magic. That year, Michigan beat Illinois, at home, in triple overtime, 67-65.
Six years later? It's a different story, in a different book, in another language.