Miscellaneous Minutiae, 5/11/2012

If you couldn't tell, I've been a little lazy with the original content of late...I'm hoping to start the Alabama defensive previews next week, and maybe put up a few other things that I've been thinking about. Until then...onward to the college football topics of the day. 


Firstly, if you want to know more things than you currently know about Indiana football, head to Maize n Brew, where it is currently Indiana preview week. 


We hardly knew ye. Chris Rock has decided to leave the program, inspiring Internet commenters across the Michiverse to quote their favorite Chris Rock lines, or, taking it a step further and cutting out the middle man, noting that Chris Rock, Michigan football player, shares his name with a famous comedian and oh the LOLs that have been had because of this simple coincidence.

It's difficult to say whether or not he would have gotten meaningful time in 2012 (probably not). Regardless, Michigan isn't exactly overflowing with depth on the defensive line. In any case, I've always thought it a little tasteless to discuss the scholarship implications of such departures, so I will simply wish him good luck in his future endeavors.

Nick Saban, the anti-Stone Cold Steve Austin. Presumably in response to Jim Delany's comments about his disapproval of teams participating in a future playoff after having not won their conference, the glorious spiritual manifestation of the Yellowhammer State's essence, Nick Saban, fired back. In classic Delany fashion, the B1G AD voiced his opinion about the aforementioned scenario with a less than subtle nod at this past season's Alabama team:

I dont' have a lot of regard for them. 

Oh Jim, never change. Saban, in his classically eloquent fashion, responded to the above scenario, one which would have course locked out the 2011 Alabama from participating in said playoff:

Hell no. 

Well, that settles that! Thank you, Nick. To quote this nation's leading German basketballer: SHUT IT DOWN LET'S GO HOME.

Nick considers your suggestion with disdain. After running several complex processes through his cybernetic hard drive, he decides that your playoff scenario is not a part of The Process, thereby prompting him to run hellno.exe 

In any case, I'm with a "conference champions only" with a ranking requirement--i.e. top 6-10/whatever can be agreed upon--type scenario becoming the law of post-season college football.

As for Nick and the SEC, it would seem that they wish to parlay the pro-SEC sentiment of this time into what would potentially be an all SEC playoff bracket. I mean, people are trying to argue that Arkansas was the #3 team in the nation last year...sorry, but no. It seems like we're getting closer and closer to opening a significant fissure in the landscape of college football, igniting a grand, divisive conflict between the football entities of the various regions, namely the North and the South and HEY WHAT A MINUTE IS THIS A SEQUEL?

Under the Saban/SEC plan, we'd have the pleasure of looking forward to ceaseless S-E-C chanting and "BUT THEY'RE SO GOOD 'CAUSE THEY BEAT EACH OTHER UP PAWWWLLLL." Also, LSU-Alabama in the title game for the rest of time would get mighty boring. There's really no way that a playoff can happen without conference champions figuring into the equation in some way; otherwise, would things be any better or different than they are now? Alabama could hypothetically not win their division conference and still participate in Saban's "polls only" playoff model, meaning that it would literally be no different at all. That is a problem, because that would make all of this a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

In other SEC news--Mark Richt is ready for you, nerds. After talking about a not so nice SEC head coach, I will add to my list of "reasons why Mark Richt is the coolest dude in the SEC." Last year's post-game exchange between Vandy HC James Franklin and UGA DC Todd Grantham predictably and somewhat hilariously created some bad vibes that have lingered on into the bleak desert time-space that is the offseason. This is amazing, because it's Vanderbilt, and the Revenge of the Nerds jokes really tell themselves.

Quoth Richt:

"I don't think we'll have much trouble getting jacked up to play the Vanderbilt Commodores this year" Richt said. "I'll tell you that."

That's right folks. Mark Richt is trash talking Vanderbilt football: achievement unlocked! In any case, more "piss and vinegar" in college football is a good thing, especially when Vanderbilt is involved. The fact that anybody, let alone Mark Richt, is paying attention to Vanderbilt football in May is a testament to James Franklin's work thus far in Nashville. Well done, Coach. It's too bad you never had the chance to challenge Ed Orgeron during the post-game handshake/fisticuffs session of that most heated in-state blood feud also known as UT-Vandy.

There are no wide receivers left. In "the offseason is a horrible time in which only bad things can happen" news, Bob Stoops has suspended four players indefinitely, three of whom are wide receivers. With Ryan Broyles departing to study in the Megatron School of Wide Receiving, this development leaves the Sooners with Kenny Stills as the sole returning player to have caught a pass last year. I don't need to tell you that this is not good, particularly for a spread-to-pass offense like Oklahoma's.

With Brent Venables's departure and Josh Heupel still being young and inexperienced as an offensive play-caller, you have to wonder about what OU will look like in 2012, especially early on in the season. The defense was absolutely shelled in losses against Texas Tech, Baylor, and Oklahoma State, and a coordinator change doesn't necessarily help in that regard (although Mike Stoops being that replacement probably mitigates the standard concerns). On the plus side, OU does return its top three rushers in Dominique Whaley, Roy Finch, and former Michigan target Brennan Clay. Whaley amassed 627 yards on 5.5 ypc last season before leaving the Kansas State game in Manhattan after sustaining a pretty gruesome injury on the first play.

In addition, OU of course returns backup QB/Tebow-back Blake Bell, who scored 13 rushing touchdowns last year as the freshman Tebow to Landry Jones's Chris Leak. In short: the 2012 OU offense might not look much like the offenses we've been seeing for the last 10+ years, which might be a good thing for Landry Jones, who had a pretty tough end to the 2011 season. With 7 returning defensive starters and a very good group of tailbacks+Bell, it seems that the Sooners might be, dare I say it...playing some "manball" in 2012?

This just in: David Molk still wants you to shut up and leave him alone. Our very own Rimington winner/warrior poet/gruff-master on the transition to the NFL and life in San Diego:

"Not going to buy a house, especially in this housing market," he said. "I don’t need any more room than I have now. I don’t need a big townhouse. Just give me a little crappy apartment and a TV and a nice chair, and I won’t know the difference."

Seriously, he just wants you to leave him alone so he can eat his grilled nails sandwich before he reach blocks your unsuspecting self off of his lawn.

More? Braves and Birds on Buzz Bissinger and the BAN FOOTBAW movement. The Key Play at EDSBS reveals what ACC schools will use their newly attained ESPN cash money on; worth clicking through for the Maryland gif alone.

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 5/1/2012

Congratulations: To all those who graduated this past Saturday: congratulations. I'll give Dr. Gupta a 4.5/5 on the Scale of Michigan Mandom, just missing a perfect score because he said "hail to the champions" at one point. 

Phillip Sims Transfers: AJ McCarron's backup, Phillip Sims, has decided to leave Tuscaloosa for Charlottesville in order to be closer to family (the obvious implication is that he wasn't going to see the field, which he wasn't based on his performances in spring ball and early on in the 2011 season). Well, I'm glad I spent a non-zero amount of time talking about him last week; Phillip Ely is now QB2 for the Tide. Some generic spring fluff re: Ely can be found here; FWIW, Saban says Ely has "improved a lot." Either way, Alabama is in a bit of trouble if McCarron gets banged up, but you could say that about almost any team in college football.

NFL Draft: The draft came and went, and, unfortunately, Michigan had another relatively poor showing. After Mike Martin, whom Tennessee took in the third round, Junior Hemingway and David Molk weren't taken until the seventh round by the Chiefs and Chargers, respectively. The most depressing point of all: 

This weekend marked the fourth straight year Michigan saw three or fewer players taken in the NFL draft. Michigan has had one first round pick (Brandon Graham in 2010) since 2008.

Meanwhile, Alabama had four this year alone. Yeah yeah, oversigning, but Michigan should be doing much better. Luckily for us, it looks like Brady Hoke is doing a good job of hopefully reversing this trend, although it may not become obvious that anything has changed for a few more years. 

As a Bears fan, I'm sort of wondering if trading up to get Alshon Jeffery in the second round wasn't sort of foolish since a guy like Junior was available until essentially the very end. I don't think that comparison is necessarily off base. Both are big, leaping sorts that have had some weight issues (although Jeffrey's seem to have been significantly more noticeable). I mean, this overview from the NFL combine sounds like a description of Junior's game to a T. Yes, Hemingway was held back by Denard's inaccuracy a little bit...then again, Jeffery was saddled with the venerable Stephen Garcia, who exclusively tossed chill bro vibes and, occasionally, actual footballs thrown with a paradoxically lackadaisical flair in Jeffery's general vicinity. Jeffrey still produced despite this, although his stats did go way down in the receptions and yardage departments in 2011. 

In short, I'm going to keep banging the drum for the "Junior=Jeffery with less college production" campaign. After all, Mel Kiper said he thought that Junior was a fourth round talent, and Mel Kiper is never wrong about anything. 

Mel Kiper, football expert

Molk, on the other hand, is going to have a tough time starting right away in San Diego, particularly given that the Chargers resigned starting center Nick Hardwick to a 3 year deal. It is almost impossible to predict whether or not Molk will, in the end, have a long and productive NFL career (even as a career backup) because it hinges on so any factors that are beyond anyone's predictive abilities. With that said, all of the NFL GMs that passed on Molk because of his "short arms" are just incredibly stupid. The NFL's obsession with measurables has become increasingly absurd over the years. I could make a joke about NFL scouts here...or I could just link to this. 

Gladwell Gonna Gladwell: I saw this Malcolm Gladwell interview on why college football should be banned linked on MGoBlog and thought "this won't end well." What I expected...

...was generally what occurred in that thread. Of course, that's not in any way an endorsement of Gladwell's assertions. Most of his points are unadulterated gibberish, and for reasons so obvious that no one should waste too much time fisking his "arguments." 

I'm going to go ahead and file this one in the already bursting file cabinet containing all the reasons why Slate is terrible and not worth reading, ever.

On Beilein and the lack of depth: SI's Luke Winn awards the "Most Success With The Least Depth" award in SI's inaugural Data-Based Coaching Awards to our very own John Beilein. As you can probably figure, this accolade is somewhat of a double-edged sword. However, it is obvious that you can win without great depth if you're a little lucky and you don't have any foul-happy starters (looking at you JMo). Michigan won a share of the conference title with a starting five plus one stat sheet filler of note (i.e. Smotrycz), and plenty of other big name teams around the country didn't have deep benches (Ohio State comes to mind). 

Sure, you can say that Trey Burke slowed down a little bit near the end, and you may or may not be correct. However, I think that Michigan's last two outings being losses in which Trey didn't exactly have great games makes the "he was tired because we literally had zero true backup point guards" an easy cop-out answer. Against the Buckeyes, Trey had to deal with the Sean Avery-esque pest that is Aaron Craft once again--whom had gotten the better of Trey in Columbus in the regular season--and a Buckeye team that was just better from top to bottom. Against Ohio (i.e. Ohio Ohio), Trey was 3/6 from inside the arc but a horrid 2/9 from beyond the arc, of which three of those misses came in the end when Michigan decided to just let Trey play NBA-style heroball instead of running any sort of offense. I don't plan on ever watching that game again, but, from what I remember, fatigue wasn't really the primary reason that Trey had an inefficient game or why Michigan lost (Ohio was pretty good, you know). 

But, having depth sure is nice. Michigan still has no real depth at the 1, but the outlook everywhere else is looking much, much better, as Horford re-enters the rotations, Biefeldt comes off his redshirt, JMo returns, and Mitch McGary enters the fold. You can even throw Blake McLimans in there if you feel like living dangerously, and GRIII could see time at 3 out of 5 spots, including the 4. Michigan hasn't exactly become the Chicago Bulls overnight, but they will have more than enough depth in the front court to handle what the 2012-12 season will throw at them. 

More? UFA signings from the Big Ten; Michigan had four. Huyge and Watson to Redskins rookie minicamp. Missed this from a couple of weeks ago, but 2012 opponent UMass appears at #120 in the Pre-Snap Read countdown. Alex Cook at Maize n Brew takes a look at the Western Michigan game through the always instructive lens of ALL THE ADVANCED STATS. And here I thought that S&P referred to a stock index. 

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 2/28/2012

Weekly Shameless Self/MnB-promotion: I wrote some stuff about Zack and Stu over at MnB...you can read it or you can not, but hopefully you choose the former. Also, make sure to check out the site at large if you haven't already. It has gone to being on "hiatus" to producing regular stuff in less than a couple of weeks, which is pretty tremendous indeed.

The Doctor Is Out: As you probably know, Matt Hinton of Dr. Saturday (and formerly Sunday Morning Quarterback) has decided to hang 'em up. While he has indicated that this isn't it for him re: writing about college football, it's still unclear what the next step is. I would have to agree with Spencer Hall's proposition:

I have a hard time imagining him not finding a better opportunity to keep doing what he does at a place with less officious superiors. The blog had gradually been oppressed by a vague sort of TMZification, and it's pretty clear that Hinton was not the source of that. 

I'm sure I'm not the only one that, with some definite sadness, deleted Dr. Saturday from my bookmarked sites. After MGoBlog and EDSBS, Dr. Saturday was my next stop along the pothole-laden information superhighway cutting through the land of College Football. It was a place where you could, on a daily basis, just become a better college football fan if you so chose. Despite writing for a big entity like Yahoo, the site was more than just a mere accumulator of links and offensively generic, unmemorable "takes." His work was a reminder that real people play and teach this game, and that it is not the NFL just yet. 

As someone who has linked to Dr. Saturday on many an occasion, I'm sad to see Hinton go; thankfully, we can reasonably assume that he will find a new spot to call home. Part of his work at Dr. Saturday was  just, well, plain 'ol work (i.e. pumping out 4-6 articles a day during football season) but the pieces that made Hinton unique required true talent and writing ability. These things are not in great supply. 

News from the NATIONAL. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE.: So the NFL Combine--arguably the creepiest event in sports outside of college recruiting (which is more of a omnipresent stank than an "event," other than NSD, obviously)--happened and our former warrior philosopher poets, Molk, Martin, and Hemingway, all did vey well. The Combine has always been a silly thing, but it's a hoop that you have to jump through, and it's clear that all three's showings will positively affect their respective draft statuses. Regarding Junior, one scout said: 

There aren't more receivers that did more for themselves than that guy. He wasn't even on our radar going into this thing. He is now. It's way too early to say where or if he'll be drafted, I'm not prepared to make that distinction, but he's definitely in the conversation now. And that's more than you could have said about him a week ago. 

Junior ran a 4.53 40, which, quite frankly is a little shocking. Junior also finished first or tied for first --out of 26 receivers--in the 3-cone and 20-yard shuttle, while also coming in second in the 60-yard shuttle. Protip to my Bears: so, I know David Terrell didn't really work that one time but hear me out. Forget about taking Michael Floyd with the 19th pick and grab Junior late...you can thank me later.

As for Molk and Martin, well, in case you weren't aware, they are both kind of strong. Molk put up a ridiculous 41 rep effort on the bench, which is amazing even if you have little T-rex arms. Martin, on the other hand, put up 36 after declaring that he would beat the bench press record of 49* set by former Oregon State DT (current Chicago Bear) Stephen Paea. This must've been incredibly disappointing after training for this one moment for so long; I've only seen a few quick highlights of the combine so I have no idea if there was anything wrong with him, physically, but I feel like 36 has to have been well below even his prior standards.

You know that you are strong when people are somewhat disappointed when you put up 225 pounds a mere 36 times. Clearly Mike Martin was foolishly leaning on faulty Barwis advice** when he could've gotten some free advice from the student workout warriors filling up the IM Building/CCRB; "if it's not bench you might as well not be doing it" needs to be installed somewhere in those places, kind of like an M Club Supports You banner but for the most insufferable people in Ann Arbor.

*I'm not sure why every article repeats this fact, but the record is actually 51, set by Justin Ernest of EKU in 1999. You are now armed with this utterly useless fact. Maybe, one day, you can use it to condescendingly start a sentence with the following: "Well, aaaactually..." 
**For the sarcasm-impaired...that was a joke.


GERG Redux: Relax, it's Not That Gerg. After some previously unofficial chatter, Iowa has decided to plunge headlong into the perilous situation known as "having a coordinator named Greg that is not Greg Mattison." Yes, Iowa has officially announced the hiring of Greg Davis as Kirk Ferentz's new OC. A GIS leads to these pictures popping up near the top:

Also, this:

This could all end up working out just fine, but yeah...the back-to-back hirings of Phil Parker and Greg Davis isn't exactly awe-inspiring. These hirings represent a metaphorical gunning of the car of Time; in a short time, Iowa's 2002-04 Reign of Terror suddenly feels like ancient history. It might have been not that long ago, but in that rear view mirror it's starting to look like more and more like a distant, dust-veiled memory.

With so much coaching turnover to overcome in both Iowa City and Madison, I really have a hard time envisioning either winning more than 8 games in 2012.

Things That Didn't Happen: Wolverine Historian with some basketball highlights, straight out of that fine year 1993, from a game featuring a mask-wearing Webber:

More? Rob Lytle, Jumbo Elliott, and Erick Anderson make the 2012 College Football Hall of Fame ballot. Jack Johnson has received a fate that I would wish upon no one. Crisler construction pictures at UMHoops.