Miscellaneous Minutiae, 5/24/2012

Just in case you needed a painful reminder. The pair of MNC game losses aside, Ohio State was obscenely dominant throughout the Tressel era: news at 11. From this week's Big Ten mailblog, these two points stand out:

• Ohio State hasn't lost to the same opponent twice in a row since 2003/04 (Wisconsin--the first being, yes, that game where Robert Reynolds did that thing). 
• The Buckeyes lost five conference games between 2005 and 2010. My goodness. 

These aren't things you reflexively think about because the previous decade or so is mostly a monolithic bloc of frustrating rivalry immolation. With that said, when you actually look at things like the above--in addition to other similarly shocking-but-not-really-shocking stats and/or anecdotes that make you go CRABLE WHY  or LLOYD WHY PUNT THERE WHY WE'RE NOT WINNING BY THAT MUCH--what the Buckeyes did to the conference was pretty amazing. Say what you will about the strength of the Big Ten during that span, but that is impressive any way you slice it. The odds of a run like that happening anytime soon are not that great. 

With that said, the 2012 schedule for the Buckeyes does feature more than a few opportunities to see the aforementioned streak end. Michigan State, Wisconsin, Nebraska, and Michigan are all distinct possibilities, and who knows what Penn State will look like this year. Three of those five are on the road, so, I think it's safe to say that the streak will come to an end. It's also safe to say that a couple other streaks and records that only fans care about will come to an end, given how high Tressel set the bar. I doubt that the Buckeyes experience the same sort of catastrophic tabula rasa-ing that Michigan got in its transition from Lloyd to RR, but there will be some bumps in the road. How many bumps there'll end up being will be the difference between say, another 6-win season and an 8 or 9 win year in Year 1 under Meyer.

Just here to negate all that retrospective doom and gloom, you guys

Show me the money. In light of the Great Band Fiasco of 2012, you're probably wondering a bit about Michigan's finances and, by extension, how much cash money we netted from the Sugar Bowl. Well, here you go: 

After expenses were taken out and the Big Ten absorbed the cost of the university's unsold tickets, Michigan brought in $78,916 in profit from its trip to New Orleans, according to records received by WolverineNation as part of a Freedom of Information request.

The headline doesn't include all pertinent information (not that it can be expected to), but, either way, your visceral reaction of "pfft, that's it" might not be completely wrong. I still don't think it's unreasonable to wonder why the "guys in blazers" that everybody euphemistically refers to get paid so much to do so little. Bowl directors and general hangers on remind me of Turtle from Entourage in that they are completely useless vis-a-vis their role in the entire operation. This is bad because anything that reminds me of Entourage or a character from it is probably a pretty terrible thing. 

Naturally, everybody in the Big Ten who is anybody thinks that semi-final home games would be a bad idea. They would make money, which I thought was what this was all about, but I guess they would also preclude generally anonymous B1G administrators from having ritzy times in warm weather bowl locales for a few days. Emphasis mine: 

Michigan spent $423,574 to transport the 379 people comprising the team and staff to New Orleans for the game, $297,183 for the 319 members of the band and cheerleading squads and $16,470 to transport 31 members of the school's "official party," which Ablauf wrote comprised "non-athletic department personnel: Regents, president and university officials."

Jim Delany is Vincent Chase if the latter had an entourage that enjoyed exquisite cheese spreads and maintained an average age of no less than 60. Okay, obviously I'm joking a little bit here (it's not like $16,000 and change is all that much in the grand scheme of things anyway), but there's probably a little truth to the point that these guys have a personal stake in this.

On a somewhat unrelated note, the other main takeaway from all of this for you, the fan: things are a lot more expensive than you think. Those transportation, food, and lodging costs are kind of staggering. It's not right for Brandon to Machiavelli his way into getting people to pay for the band, but, can you blame him?

DB: slowly making me back away from the "let's laugh at the hate-everything-DB-does-people" table. I have moved on from the fact that we will likely never get the chance to see a team from below the Mason-Dixon line come up to the frigid North to play the game of football. Football, you see, is a delicate game that can always be played under the most pleasant of conditions. The willingness to "roll over," ostensibly for the sake of compromise, is irritating; however, much of the ire against Delany et al is admittedly better directed at the other participants in this playoff debate, simply because they have strength in numbers with respect to this particular issue.

Still, Dave...come on, man. I mean, sometimes I wonder if the Big Ten brass are representing, you know, the Big Ten's interests, what with the comments regarding the "unfairness" of getting teams from warm parts of the country (see: everywhere that isn't the B1G, apparently) to play up north in December/January, and now this.

Not only did DB not support a playoff at all (it's not like he has a choice now), he didn't even feign support for campus site semi-finals and now he's saying that he's against even having neutral site games in the Midwest: 

"The one thing that kind of gets left out of this discussion that maybe ought to get some weight are the kids," he said Friday during WTKA's Mott Takeover. "Now, I know a lot of people don't really care about that part, but I do, and if you polled our players and said, 'If you played a really tough, successful, long regular season, the award you're going to get is to travel to Ford Field or Lucas Oil Stadium,' they would look at you and say, 'Huh?'

I just don't know what to say anymore. I've been far less critical of DB than most people, but this is starting to get absurd. If Brandon has done some even somewhat scientific polling of Michigan players on this issue of "travel convenience/de facto home field advantage vs. going somewhere warm and awesome like Orlando WOO" then I'd love to see it. I doubt that happens, because bringing up "the kids" is a good way of making any critics tantamount to "oh, so you hate the kids huh?"I am not at all saying that DB (and others) don't care about the players, it's just that saying these decisions are being made because of what the players want is maybe a little disingenuous. Maybe I'm being overly cynical.

General superconference thoughts. Stuart Mandel talks about, among other things, why a conference champions only playoff model would negatively impact the importance of the regular season. I don't necessarily disagree with his arguments, but I'm of a mind that superconferences are going to happen. As nonsensical and unnatural as the concept may seem when you look at a map, it's actually a much tidier plan, especially when juxtaposed with what is being discussed within the context of the current conference by conference landscape. As long as the Big East and ACC exist, they will have to be considered in a non-superconference playoff.

A few stray thoughts related to my post from the other day on the issue. It's easy to become enamored with the symmetry of the superconference model: 4 conferences, 16 teams each, 4 playoff spots that require teams to do one simple thing, i.e. win their conference. Very clean and very simple. What's that Alabama, you didn't win your division or your conference? NO SOUP FOR YOU.

In a sense, this setup would mimic the NCAAB tournament model in a roundabout way. I know this sounds like a bad thing, because, after all, everyone complains about how vastly unimportant the college basketball is compared to the Big Dance. The Final Four is not comprised of the "best" teams each and every year, but rather the teams that made it through their respective regions. In this sense, the college football regular season would essentially become the first four rounds of the Big Dance, with the 4 team playoff of course mirroring the Final Four.

Yes, lawsuits will rain down from the sky if this happens. Also, someone mentioned this on MGoBlog the other day (I can't remember who or where it was, but if I find it I'll update), but there really isn't a centralized entity or any pervasive force that's pushing realignment to happen, let alone pushing each of the four conferences to exactly 16 teams. The more that I think about this point, the more that I wonder whether or not even teams even exist to fill out the rest of the Big Ten (Notre Dame, Rutgers...and? Maybe Virginia Tech if they don't land elsewhere?), and even the Pac 12.

The SEC, however, is already at 14. The Big 12, if the completely reliable rumblings are to be believed, might be getting ready to go on an expansion spree that is positively Supermarket Sweep-esque. What would force the B1G and Pac 12 to expand if both the SEC and Big 12 got to 16? Does the Big 12 event want 16, or is it just looking to add teams so that its figurative EKG machine stops flat-lining every so often, something that was a daily torment for the conference not too long ago? You know, kind of like stocking up on water jugs and batteries, just in case*. I don't really have answers to these questions, but when you throw out the inevitability that is "lawyers from have-not schools running around all nimbly bimbly," the whole non-conference games becoming obsolete thing, and the ongoing cognitive dissonance of "this is about the kids" while forcing said kids to travel outrageous distances for conference games...well.

Maybe superconferences aren't such a great idea after all. Symmetry is nice, though.

*Yes, the Big 12 is Dale Gribble. Yes, I am a fan of 1990s television.

More? I don't have much to say about this, but I will say this: whenever the apocalypse comes to pass, I'm pretty certain that Gene Smith will still somehow be the AD at OSU when all is said and done. It's like Smith has spent the entire time since Tressel's departure saying questionable things and then going "hey everybody look over there!"...and then everybody does, and here we are over a year later and he's still the AD and nobody has seemed to notice.

Jim Delany doesn't want to talk about it, because discussing one's finances is tacky and unbecoming of a Big Ten Man. Some good recruiting buzz from UMHoops on Michigan's point guard of the future (and others). Via Michigan Today, a look at Jim Abbott's recently released memoir, Imperfect: An Improbable Life

This Week In Generic Playoff Concerns: On the Road Again

As you probably know by now, Jim Delany and the Big Ten have given up on the continued negotiation for semifinal games on campus sites. For those hoping to see teams like LSU, Alabama, and Georgia come up to Ann Arbor, Madison, or Columbus for one of these hypothetical semifinal matchups, you're going to have to wait a while. Unfortunately, your waiting might not be too different from the sort of waiting in Waiting for Godot. Indefinite, pointless, and tragicomic.

First of all, just to clarify my own position (not that it is all that different from most people's):

• With all due respect to the Rose Bowl, it should not be a driving factor in any playoff negotiations. What was once a nexus of pride and tradition has deteriorated and is an outright albatross on the neck of the conference. There, I said it. You were thinking it too. 

• I'm in favor of a 4-team playoff, conference champions only, with the only other deciding clause being that a team must be in the top X (anywhere from 6-10 is fine to me, however arbitrary that may seem). Otherwise, a non-champion can take a spot left vacant due to a conference champion not fulfilling the aforementioned parameters. 

• No pre-season polls. It's kind of absurd that they exist in the first place, but I guess college football needs a way to drum up interest for non-conference games with shiny rankings.  

• Strength of schedule needs to be emphasized in whatever the new rankings formula becomes. Force teams to eliminate as many minnows from their schedules as possible. Is that fair to the minnows? No, but, then again, I don't think teams like UT-San Antonio, Georgia State, and even current FBS schools like Eastern Michigan, should be in the FBS. In fact, I don't even think many of these types of schools should be fielding football teams, period, but I'm not exactly about to tell the a bunch of Texans that they shouldn't have a football team. That would go over well, I'm sure. 

• While a certain groups of fans will always point to players' preferences for things*--alternate jerseys, music, etc.--as reasons why we shouldn't listen to them (that is, the players), in this case I think the players are in the right, not the coaches and ADs. I guarantee you that if given the choice, every single player on Michigan's roster would rather play for a national championship than the Rose Bowl. The Rose Bowl, not unlike Notre Dame football, hasn't been truly relevant on a national scale in some time. The fact that Mark Hollis says otherwise regarding the players' wants increases my confidence in the notion that the players want to play for national titles and not Rose Bowls: 

"From kids' perspective, the bowl experience is the one thing they want to keep," he said. "Semifinals at bowl sites provide that, it's where fans can gather. With campus sites, it becomes (more) like a regular-season game." 

Yes, because everybody wants more, not less, bowl-type experiences in a given season. This seems counter-intuitive given that the B1G is also thinking about upping the bowl qualifying record to 7-5. The Big Ten wants to expand and downsize the bowl culture simultaneously; this leads me to believe, among a long list of other reasons, that the conference has no idea what it is doing.

*For the record, I don't care too much about the crazy jerseys and stadium music too much. I mean, they might be bad and sometimes a little excessive, but they don't leave an indelibly negative mark on my personal experience as a fan. Also, for the most part, if anybody is going to have a say about these things, I think it should be the players and not Michigan fans on the Internet. That isn't a slight against the fans, but...I think the players have more than earned the right to some creative control with these things. If that means hearing a non-zero amount of Pop Evil and wearing a bumblebee jersey every once in a while, so be it.

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Of course, none of us are in the room for these negotiations. As Rittenberg notes, maybe this is a way to concede one point while gaining ground on the "conference champions only" front re: the playoff structure. Then again, what happens if the SEC (and other conferences in its axis of influence, which, at this point, might honestly be everyone that isn't the B1G) manages to use its influence to eliminate the aforementioned clause from ongoing discussions? The Big Ten doesn't seem to have very many friends right now, and the SEC has all the leverage. Winning has a way of doing that, and by winning I mean, of course, national championships. No matter what anybody says, national titles are the ultimate prize in this era of college football. 

By definition, a negotiation means that multiple sides will supposedly be conceding various things in order to achieve a general common goal (in this case, a playoff). However, from where I stand, these discussions look more like this duel scene from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly: 

If it needs explication, the Big Ten is Angel Eyes. That is not a good thing. 

So much of this either doesn't make sense or is plainly wrong. Again, in bullet form: 

• Hollis's point that the players value the bowls more than playing for a national championship. This is the height of tragicomedy, as the players can first and foremost look to the parasitic bowls as a primary source to which college football revenue is nonsensically funneled, revenue that is based solely on their back-breaking efforts. Pair this with the fact that those that "run" the bowls seem to do very little in the way of actual work, and you would be justified, as a player, to be fairly antagonistic to the bowl system. The players "love" the bowls because it is the only thing there is, they get to travel somewhere (even if it's somewhere as bland as, say, Orlando), and they get a few neat things in their bowl gift package. 

• Gene Smith: "Let's say Ohio State is hosting and it's January or December, and it's five degrees. Is that right for the game? We're not pro. We need to figure out what's best for the game, and I think a fast surface, good weather is important for the game. It's important for the game." 
  
• He supported semifinal games on home sites before; what changed? This goes for everyone else in the conference, not just Smith. 
• Anytime an AD or anyone involved in this process talks about what's good for the kids, I tune out. "The kids" are the furthest thing from anyone's mind who has a say. 
• I'm not sure why football played in cold weather conditions is okay for the highest level of football but not the collegiate game. That makes sense. Apparently, football players only become men upon entering the NATIONAL. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE. 

Jon Gruden, former HC in the NATIONAL. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE. endures the brutal cold of Tampa Bay like only a true professional can

• The fact that Delany just does not understand what is going on at all. He thinks that NYC is a relevant college football foothold. Then again, given that Rutgers was at one point at least vaguely a target of Big Ten expansion, this isn't exactly unexpected. In light of the dilution of the bowl system that many in the B1G are fearing, yes...signing on with the Pinstripe Bowl is definitely what we should do. 

• The fact that Tom Osborne and Harvey Perlman--with Nebraska having only having one Big Ten season to its name--feel the need to be beholden to the Rose Bowl (and the bowl system at large) proves that this is all: a) mindless groupthink and b) symptomatic of the dedication to preserving monetary lifelines via the bowl system as opposed to doing what is right for the game, the conference, individual schools, and yes, the players. So, yes, when various B1G personalities talk about the Rose Bowl, they are irrationally deifying it, assuaging their fears and their pangs of guilt at even thinking of abandoning it by mindlessly paying tribute; at this point, is the Rose Bowl even worthy of demigod status? 

• Just so it doesn't look like I'm solely bashing other ADs, even our very own Dave Brandon has been notoriously anti-playoff, and although I can't find a direct quote, the above article on the Pinstripe Bowl notes that Brandon thinks that "playing at northern sites within the Big Ten would be unfair to the competition." The administrative idiocy regarding a playoff--and its prominent details--is spread fairly uniformly across the conference. 

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This week has not increased my confidence in the Big Ten brass's ability to not completely ruin our chances of having nice things. Abandoning the semifinal home site cause before any trenches have even been dug is akin to Russia executing its "scorched earth" policy before Napoleon had even begun his campaign eastward (yes, I just compared the SEC to early 19th century France...if that's not trollin' then I don't know what is). 

I'm getting the feeling that once the dust settles, the Big Ten is going to be a major loser in all of this, and it will largely be a product of two factors: 1) the incompetence of the conference's administration and 2) a complete lack of leverage vis-a-vis the SEC (and even the Pac 12).  I hope this resolves itself positively, but early returns have not been encouraging. 

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 5/7/2012

ONE OF US: In light of this post on Corn Nation (via mgo.licio.us) on the utility of the Big Ten's Rose Bowl obsession vis-a-vis Nebraska, I found this to be extremely amusing. As the college football world stumbles in the general direction of "the future" on and attempts to formulate the structure for life after the structured nonsensical failure that is the BCS--not unlike a college grad's transition to being a real person--many have of course seen the Big Ten (and the Pac 12) as an obstacle to various playoff scenarios because, yeah...the Rose Bowl. The ultimate elephant in the room, that Rose Bowl. This criticism from the college football world at large is all in spite of the fact that Jim Delany himself has been showing support, with actual words*, for a 4-team playoff. Can you blame everybody for this frustration after years of suffering Delany just, you know, being Jim Delany? I surely cannot.

As the conference's newest member, how does Nebraska feel about this "Rose Bowl", and, by extension, the possibility (inevitability, really, but who's counting) of a playoff in college football? Nebraska president Harvey Perlman takes it upon himself to opine on the matter:

"I can't figure out a good reason to have a playoff to start with. We've had some informal meetings, the Big Ten presidents and the Pac-12 presidents, and I think we're largely aligned in thinking a plus-one with a different ranking after the bowl games to select No. 1 and 2 would be acceptable. Our second choice would probably be a four-team playoff inside the bowls. Our highest priority is to preserve the status of the Rose Bowl and our connection to it."

The Jim Delany of several months ago would've been all "I SEE YOU PERLMAN, B1G STAND UP!" Alas, Perlman was a bit tardy in coming to the commissioner's aid, because, you see, the Big Ten is slow in all aspects of life. Our linebackers are slow, Big Ten presidents are slow in showing support for an initiative that the conference's head honcho doesn't even back anymore, Big Ten tailgaters are slow to make it to their respective stadiums on Saturdays after guzzling their daily allotments of Velveeta cheese at the wee hours of the morning, etc. So, is it really a surprise that our fair conference's academic representatives would be slow in attempting to publicly back the Rose Bowl-centric agenda? Of course not!

As Hinnen notes, this is largely irrelevant, as nobody really cares what Perlman, MSC, and the rest of the B1G presidents have to say about this issue. Jim Delany, Larry Scott, Mike Slive, and, now, Bob Bowlsby, will drag the sport kicking and screaming into the future.

As for the Rose Bowl, before moving to the South, I was only able to experience one of them as a kid in the Midwest (the 1998 game against Washington State). Of course, Michigan has lost in its three subsequent appearances, since then, so I might not have the warm, romantic feelings that folks a little older than I might have about the game, the spectacle, the event. It's probably a different feeling, a different attachment, for those older than I, folks that have grown up with the Rose Bowl as a central part of college football and Michigan football more specifically, of course. "The Grandaddy of Them All", when it once meant something. As a 23 year old in 2012, I appreciate the game and all that it stands for, although much of that feeling is admittedly retroactively applied in nature. The Rose Bowl and its special place in the heart of Big Ten/Pac 12 fans will never go away; however, it's obvious that it, like many things, will become a necessary casualty of change.

*Delany's native tongue is in fact some form of pretentious, dismissive, and mostly unintelligible muttering.

Realignment codified: Have you, like I, been wondering what is left, exactly, after the dust has settled after the furious run of expansion of the last couple of years? Well, Stewart Mandel helpfully compiles a list of all moves, big and small. It's somewhat amusing to remember that the Big Ten essentially kicked this whole bad habit into overdrive. Indeed, the Big Ten is known for not being stodgy and afraid of change.

In retrospect, the most absurd/sad/hilarious items of the bunch:

• Nebraska to the Big Ten-Because the Big Ten DID SOMETHING. ANYTHING. I mean, who foresaw that? I'm actually non-sarcastically and legitimately impressed. 

• Boise State and San Diego State to the Big East--Because geography. 

• Independents adds BYU, loses Navy: Bold move by Independents dropping a national brand for an entity like BYU. What media markets do the Cougars bring to the Independents? After all, Navy did bring, oh, just a little thing called ALL OF THE OCEANS, which I'm pretty sure represents a bigger television footprint than that of Rutgers University. 

• Conference USA adding FIU, Louisiana Tech, North Texas, UT-San Antonio*, and an abandoned Waffle House off of I-20 in Apocalypse, Texas--Conference USA heard the phrase "less is more" and thought "I'm going to just go ahead and do the opposite of what you just said, Common Sense."

• Memphis to the Big East--Despite having gone through the Jay Hopson Experience and winning only two games in 2011, Memphis gets rewarded by being offered an invitation to a major conference. This is analogous to contributing literally nothing to a group project for school and then receiving a C- for said project. Great job? 

• The WAC has been whacked--RIP actually somewhat entertaining minor conference that gave us Boise State, Pat Hill's mustache, Colin Kaepernick, and Hawaii in a BCS bowl game against an SEC team. Heck, even Utah State gave us an entertaining bowl game in mid-December (if you don't remember, that probably means you have a life). It's been fun. 

• Texas A&M to the SEC--This means that, at some point in the future, Texas A&M will descend upon Nashville, TN for a football game against the Vanderbilt Commodores. Think about that. A&M fans and Vanderbilt fans, all in the same place at the same time for ostensibly the same reasons. 

So, there you have it. College football makes no sense, but, like all change in this thing we call life, we'll get used to it eventually. 

*This is a real thing apparently. 

Shane Morris is that guy: Shane at the Elite 11, via maizedandconfused:

These sorts of shenanigans--this "photo-bombing"--are unbecoming of a Michigan Man. It is quite rude indeed to ruin what would otherwise have been a perfectly nice photo. It shows a me-first, pre-Madonna (sic) attitude that will not fly at Michigan.
/Michigan Man'd

Luckily, this wasn't the NFL combine or Shane would be having dozens of scouts on his case citing "character concerns" after such an outrageous stunt. "Football between legs shows flippant lack of respect for THE GAME. Photo-bombing shows immaturity. Draft with caution."

Jack Johnson leads America to victory: The United States took on Canada at the hockey world championships in Helsinki over the weekend, and this would not necessarily be notable in this space if not for the game-winner being notched by none other than team captain Jack Johnson. The USA won this one 5-4, with JJ's winner coming less than two minutes into the overtime period. Despite a somewhat disappointing tenure in Los Angeles, paired with the ignominious outcome that is being traded to the Columbus Blue Jackets, one can only hope that a strong performance and a strong leadership presence in these games can give JJ what he needs to pick it up a bit going forward.

FWIW, Canadien forward and former Wolverine Max Pacioretty also participated (he gets a brief mention in the annarbor.com article linked up there). Also FWIW, I am no Wings fan but Jimmy Howard stopped 42 of the 46 shots that came his way.

This was a big one for the USA, as this marks only the USA's fourth victory--against 38 losses--against the Canadians in the World Championships, a tournament which has been around since 1931. The USA will take on Slovakia this afternoon at 1:15 ET on the NBC Sports Network, for those that are interested in watching/DVRing.

More? Unless you're a Bulls fan this probably won't mean much to you, but this is a well-written article about Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry and the general unpredictability of young talent in the NBA. Sounds like we should be on basketball commitment watch re: Caris LeVert.

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 3/8/2012

Things We Coulda Done: Our very own offensive coordinator appeared on the Huge Show, and although generic sports talk aspersions apply vis-a-vis Huge, this interview, and sports talk radio in general, there is one quote that, in this bleak stretch of the offseason, can be considered at least moderately interesting. When asked about whether or not there was anything that he would have possibly done differently:

Well I think from a schematic perspective we probably--you know early on we were still kinda testing the waters with how much under center play we would have and we knew that we wanted to do some of that because we wanted to feature some of our tailbacks a little more and take a little pressure off Denard...and I think that had we to do it over again we would've been a little more spread offense early on and gotten better at that.

He goes on to expand on that, using the appropriate word "weaning" to describe the process of slowly filtering out the I-form/under center/non-spread part of the offense in favor of the spread that Michigan had begun to perfect with Denard under RR. The point itself isn't necessarily that interesting but it is kind of cool to hear Al (or any coordinator at a high profile program) say that sort of thing out loud. The coaching business is one in which mistakes--or even talk/intimation of mistakes having been made at some point--are anathema, and so it's refreshing to see that he is humble enough to admit that he would've have even done anything differently at all.

Who knows what would have happened had Michigan not spent the first three quarters of the Notre Dame game uselessly plugging away under center. In an alternate universe where Michigan decided to spread 'n shred all game, that game likely doesn't turn out to be the exercise in coronary-inducing horribawesomeness that it was. Clearly, Borges realized that a combination of 75% derp, 25% DENARD is the perfect mixture if you want to produce a game for the ages; he is obviously some sort of alchemist and/or sorcerer. Don't ask him about bubble screens, though, because that stuff's basically his hemlock.

Also, in case you were wondering and didn't feel like listening till the end, there are not "Brady's Bunch" signs anywhere in the hallways of the Michigan coaching offices. So, there's that.

Dolla Dolla Bills Y'all: Are you a person with not very much money? Would you like to have more money? Well, you're in luck! As part of a 6-day "executive education program,"Dave Brandon, Brady Hoke, and John Beilein--and others, including softball coach Carol Hutchins--will be disseminating their leadership experience to the great unwashed masses. Perhaps after consuming the boundless business acumen of these figures, forged in the competitive fires of modern collegiate athletics, you can have more money than you currently have. Profit! Unfortunately for you, person with no money, this program will set you back approximately $15,000. Oh, there's always a catch.

This will of course spark the usual "DAVE BRANDON IS AN EVIL BUSINESSMAN ARGHHFHF" yelling match across the Michigan Internet, which is an argument that I am generally not too concerned with. It's not that that I don't care or think that everything Dave Brandon does is in the best interest of the maize and blue rather the green, it's that the only salient point here, in my opinion, is what Brady Hoke will say during said program. My idealistic expectations for what a Brady Hoke-led seminar on business and/or "how to get paid, son" does not include bland power point presentations, corporate buzzwords like synergy and leverage (although leverage may pop up under a very different context*), or other such empty theatrics. No, Brady Hoke's presentation would simply be him calling up each member of the audience, lining up before them and yelling "Set...HIT." Over and over again. That, and a brief message on the importance of brand marketing:

*PAD LEVEL HURRRRRRRRRR

Third Time's a Charm...OR IS IT?: As Big Ten tourney time is upon us, I got to thinking about Michigan's potential opponents in the quarterfinal round. Most would agree that Northwestern would be somewhat of a nightmare of a matchup, given the closeness of the two regular season contests and the Wildcats' unique offensive stylings. I feel confident enough in saying that the Wildcats will win, meaning that we will end up facing them for the dreaded third time in a single season.

I did some aimless Googling around to find the answer for why beating a team three times in one season is notoriously difficult. I did not find anything substantive, as most of the results were simply articles containing quotes from players and coaches saying that "beating a team threes times is difficult." As you might suspect, it is pretty much just another one of those sports-isms that we could do without. It's sort of like when a child asks their Mom or Dad to explain how something like gravity works: it just does, honey. Why is it hard to beat a team thrice in one season? IT JUST IS, OKAY.

Having engaged in two OT contests against the Wildcats, Michigan is literally more familiar with Northwestern than they are with any other team. If Michigan loses, it will be likely for these reasons in this approximate, extremely unscientific order:

1) Poor outside shooting/too many threes (i.e., 38 of them)
2) THJ reverting to Evil Handlebar Mustache-wearing Three Point Attempting THJ
3) Morgan's shoulder still being even vaguely stingery
4) John Shurna looks like Steve Novak from outside
5) Luka Mirkovic






6) Some mystical force that somehow prevents teams from defeating the same opponent three times in the same academic year

Times They Are 'A Changin': As the college football world continues to drift in the ether of non-action, the only comforting thing is that, at the very least, the People That Matter are talking about change. Larry Scott, who has seemingly been running point on the playoff discussion amongst the relevant ADs, says:

"Once we start to get to the point where a consensus is emerging around a model or two, that's when conferences will be asked to kind of officially vote on something," Scott said. "It's a little hard to predict when exactly but it's probably summertime.

"I don't know if there will be a point where our conference declares exactly what it supports until there's a specific proposal in front of us. We're kind of far from that point and there's a lot more work that I need to do and my colleagues from other conferences need to do to narrow options and think of all the implications."

Yes, this process will continue to be incredibly annoying in every way. There will probably be many stupid things along the way, and you should not be surprised when you hear these things. For example, Mike Slive's insistence that a potential playoff system accept all qualified teams, regardless of their status as champions--or not--of a conference. This is obviously stupid, but did you expect anything else after the SEC West Title Game Redux to which we were all painfully subjected? I can see it now: a 4/8 team playoff, all SEC. I just shuddered, as you probably did.

The point is, this will happen slowly, like all things in life that involve bringing together people from all over the country to deliberate over a thing that nets certain people unbelievable amounts of cash, which, come to think of it, is just like our...yeah. I will say that a world in which Mike Slive is the primary focus of the ire of pro-playoff folks, as opposed to Jim Delany, is a much better world.

Here and There: The continually nonsensical parade of conference realignment has gotten to a level of insanity that makes the term "realignment" seem hilariously misapplied in light of everything. This senselessness has continued on for so long that I read about Temple re-joining the Big East in 2012--after having been kicked out unceremoniously and didn't even think twice about it. After all, this is a conference called the Big East, a conference which will eventually include teams like Boise State and San Diego State. Irrationality and bitter survival instinct reign supreme here.

Still, we are talking about TEMPLE, here. I know that they've gotten better and that the Big East is not exactly in a position to be choosy, but...my God. The Big East has essentially turned into a trip to Golden Corral/Old Country Buffet/insert other purely AMURICAN eateries; you put everything on your plate at the same time, or at least as much as you can fit on the first go around. Macaroni and cheese? Yeah! Mashed potatoes? Yup! Fried chicken, a vague pile of "salad," and a scoop of ice cream just to save time once the shame starts to hit and getting up again becomes not only a physical impossibility but a literal walk of shame? Oh boy! Then the gravy starts leaking into the salad and the ice cream melts onto the cheese and beets in your salad and the liquid from the soggy broccoli you heaped onto your plate reluctantly advances into the adjacent corn bread and OH GOD THIS HAS BEEN A HORRIBLE MISTAKE.

The only person that finds any of this expansion/realignment business to be rational or generally pleasing is of course Bill Cosby, noted Temple alum.*

The following is a pictorial representation of the process that is realignment:

Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Fin. 

*Fun fact, but Bill Cosby is the only Temple alum you are aware of because he is the only Temple alum that actually exists. This is fact.

More? A sure way to make someone that is young feel old is by saying that he is "entering his third decade of life." BTT roundtable on MnB for which I was a contributor. I'm looking forward to Olmec's continuing service as the mouthpiece of Temple athletics.

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 2/7/2012

First, A Sad Note: Maybe I missed this, but I haven't really seen any discussion of this around the Michigan corner of the Internet (it's possible I missed it). Junior Hemingway's home was burglarized Friday morning, and among the lost items lost are jerseys and bowl rings from Junior's time at Michigan. It's simply bizarre that somebody is currently running around with things that took a lifetime of hard work for somebody to acquire.

Brett Duke/The Times-Picayune

A month ago, Junior was crying at the podium. Little bits of colored paper fell. It was the perfect ending to a 5-year journey, the type of storybook ending so purely good that it escapes even cynical accusations of melodrama. Last Friday served as a reminder that this is still a world where bad things happen: randomly, inconveniently, senselessly.

I don't want to get into the psychology of theft (there might not even be any "psychology" beyond "this is a thing I can steal and turn into money"), but the most absurd part of the whole thing is that the thief left the Sugar Bowl MVP trophy, which was lying on the coffee table, unobscured and prone.

Less Saddening News: Michigan gained its third commitment of the new recruiting cycle in the form of Detroit Crockett TE Khalid Hill. He is yet to be ranked by any of the three main recruiting services, but, he is coming to us from the same high school that Brandon Graham did, so that's nice.

"How am I supposed to determine how happy or sad I should be without STARS, guys? I mean, as far as I'm concerned he might as well not even be a real person without a star ranking. HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW HE EXISTS?"-People who follow recruiting

So, yes, a tight end. Who knows how good he will be, but at minimum this commitment partially fills a position of need that will actually become important going forward. TOUGHNESS. TREMENDOUS. TIGHT ENDS. This is Ann Arbor, and this is what we (now) do.

Meanwhile, In Iowa: Kirk Ferentz is likely nervously chewing the heck out of some gum somewhere as he sits in his office, hiding under his desk while trying to determine how he will remedy the whole "not having coordinators" situation. Former Michigan assistant Soup Campbell is a name being thrown around for the OC position, but the buzz around the DC spot is more interesting in that one Jim Herrmann is being mentioned. Yes, that Jim Herrmann. Could you imagine a more Kirk Ferentz thing to do than this? Ferentz would covet somebody that was last considered a good thing in 1997. Kirk Ferentz is the Des Moines of football coaches.

I can see it now. The scene: Iowa City, some fall Saturday in 2012. Iowa leads late in the game but has just elected to punt from its opponent's 34. Ferentz furiously chews the same piece of sugarless gum he's been chewing since 1999, the mustachioed Herrmann standing next to him. He rushes 3 time after time, cordially conceding--nay, aggressively allowing--yardage to be gained, points to be scored, and the happiness of all that are present. End scene.

I have a feeling that this is just too perfect to be true; therefore, it won't happen. From a more general, conference-wide perspective, this would be another development on "the Big Ten is slowly reverting to the 1970s order of things" front (i.e. as top-heavy as Dwight Howard). With PSU and Iowa seemingly headed for tough times, Wisconsin's unimpressive recruiting haul despite going to two straight Rose Bowls, and the rest of the conference, save MSU, being generally mediocre...I have a feeling there might a much larger percentage of fairly uninteresting conference games the next few years or so.

Things That Are Surprising: The stodgy Big Ten might, just might, be leading the charge of change (emphasis is Hinton's):

Sources told the Tribune that a Big Ten plan would remove the top four teams from the BCS bowl pool and have semifinal games played on the college campus of the higher seed.That would do away with the facade of "neutral" sites such as New Orleans, Miami and Pasadena, Calif., and ease travel concern for fans.

Of course, these are "words, words, mere words," as some really emo guy once said. The whole "SEC/PAC 12 teams coming to the Midwest in December" thing is particularly appealing. Of course, the SEC contingent will protest this indignity. Whenever this scenario comes up I recall the Miami Hurricanes players bundled up like they were playing on Hoth for the 2009 Champs Sports Bowl against Wisconsin, which was played in...49-degree Orlando. Good times. I generally avoid the comment sections of articles on big sites like Yahoo, but I couldn't help myself here. A couple were essentially equivalent to "PAWWWLLLLLL THEM YANKEES ARE SO DUMB THEY AIN'T GOT THAT DOME TECHNOLOGY LIKE WE DO."

Whether it's 4 teams or 8 or 16, there will always be somebody with a grievance to air. I'm of the opinion that any playoff that allows any more than 8 teams to compete for the title would be excessive. You can't please everybody, but I think everybody can agree that there needs to be something different than what is currently in place. That consensus needs to be reached amongst the People In Charge, so it's nice that Delany of all people is the one saying this. Again, though...words. A little less conversation, a little more action please.

Things That Are Not Surprising: The almighty dollar ruling the day vis-a-vis college football affairs

The move would essentially prohibit schools from scheduling games like last season's LSU-Oregon matchup at Cowboy Stadium in Dallas. Cases such as the upcoming USC-Syracuse game on September 8, 2012 at Met Life Stadium would be permissible because they are the Pac-12 team's away game in a home-and-home series while matchups like the UCLA-Texas game in 2014 would no longer be allowed unless the Longhorns agreed to come to Los Angeles.

Larry Scott is undoubtedly sliding down a water slide made of gold bullion into a pool of hundred dollar bills, and good for him and the PAC 12. However, anything that eliminates the possibility and/or feasibility of new, exciting non-conference matchups is a net negative. I know that Larry Scott has to look out for his conference's coffers, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

You know, it's times like these that I actually sort of miss the Bowl Alliance days. Teams weren't afraid to go play other teams outside of their respective regions, bowls games were yet untainted by the plague of awkward sponsorships, and the system itself: a) wasn't even a "system" and b) didn't even pretend to provide a definitive and coherent end to a college football season. Unlike the BCS, at least it was an ethos.

More? Jon Merrill "eludes description"...as awesome as last season's turnaround was, this year's has been equally impressive and then some. Michigan gets OL prospect Dan Gibbs as a preferred walk-on; at 6'7'' 315 pounds, "Brobdingnagian" is probably the only adjective ridiculous enough to describe him. The "Do Your Job" slogan has apparently applied to everyone but Head Coach Bill O'Brien for the last month. The least surprising thing ever: John Calipari likes Nick Saban and Alabama football.

Hello Goodbye, 8/23

I had the great fortune of being able to spend this past weekend in Ann Arbor; it's truly amazing how much you hate living there in the dead of winter, and then when you move away for even the shortest period of time you'd rather be back in that unpredictably cantankerous climate than the sunny, sensible place in which you now live. It was my first trip to Ann Arbor since graduation in April; while being back in town was a little sad in that it is a reminder that my undergraduate days are over, driving down Main and seeing the new scoreboard bursting from the horizon like a maize and blue wonder of the world was, to say the least, tremendous. 

In more important, less nostalgic news, I think I cast my vote in the Sandwich Wars for Maize and Blue Deli...for now. This of course will change whenever I get the chance to go to Zingerman's again (hopefully Notre Dame weekend). Also, for anyone who cares...the new Mediterranean place on State (one that took the place of Cosi) is actually fairly good. I recommend it. ANYWAY.

Camp Rumors: So we've been hearing a lot the last several days about who is performing and who is not. Some of the news has been encouraging, some has been extremely discomfiting. The latter is, of course, referring to Will Campbell, who is building up his case for being one of, if not the biggest, bust in recent history for Michigan. I had held out hope that maybe the light would go on like it sort of did for Gabe Watson, and he'd at the very least be a player that you could hope would not be a significant liability by virtue of his size (and, admittedly, his recruiting pedigree), and thus, at worst, a non-difference maker capable of holding down the starting spot. As tough as that is to say, it's true, as it appears Campbell may have reached his Waterloo this time. Getting beat out by a walk-on represents a conscious decision by the coaches to go with someone less talented in every respect because the more talented player does not have the drive, the technique, the willingness to improve, etc. to get the job done and done well. BWC has had his chances, and there's always the potential for a Hoke motivational ploy to be found in Nathan Brink's ascension up the depth chart...then again, the path that Campbell's career has taken suggests it is not.

In other news, offseason favorite Fitzgerald "Mike Hart with speed" Toussaint has generated some significant buzz, to the point that many are saying he could be the starter. I will be completely honest, this was a surprise to me. A good surprise, mind you, but a surprise nonetheless (kind of like walking into the Big House for the UCONN game last September to watch the Wolverines only give up 10). Guys like Shaw, Smith, Cox, and even Hopkins, are known entities at this point; we know that Shaw is a burner who sometimes has trouble finding the hole and then flashes the knowledge he attained at the Carlos Brown School of Tackle Breaking when running between the tackles. Smith is a tiny, tiny man who can catch and block but don't ever, EVER ask him to convert on 3rd and short. It seems like he's gotten some of his burst back, so we'll see how he figures in to the offense this season. We know that Cox is talented and will look amazing against Derp State but never see the field otherwise, and we know that Hopkins is of the Wisconsin mold of tailbacks.

This is why Toussaint taking the reins would be pretty exciting. We saw a brief flash of what he could do against Bowling Green, but he's spent much of his time at Michigan either injured or not playing. Now, as a redshirt sophomore, is a perfect time for him to come in and show people why they were so excited about him in the first place.

Other notes available at MGoBlog as usual...it looks like my prediction that Avery will take over the spot opposite Woolfolk is coming to fruition, which I think is good for the defense overall. No offense to JT Floyd, who'd make a more than okay nickel, but Avery is just less athletically limited and has better upside. Some names are added to the logjam that is the WLB position race: Hawthorne and Morgan. It's interesting to see Morgan being moved from the MIKE position; I was definitely a fan of his the more I read of him, but, as Brian notes, this obviously indicates that the WLB position is probably going to be mediocre this year. I'm interested to know how interchangeable the coaches feel some players are vis a vis the SAM and WILL positions; that is, does putting the 3 best backers on the field entail Jake Ryan sliding to the other side (i.e., the WILL)? While it's hard to say, I don't think it would hurt to try it down the road if some of these more experienced guys--age-wise, at least--fail to do anything substantial. A unit of Ryan-Demens-Gordon could be, dare I say it, downright good.


Attrition Time: Tony Posada is done at Michigan, making him the second freshman to leave the program this offseason (the first, of course, being TX LB Kellen Jones). This doesn't necessarily hurt as much as Jones from the talent perspective, whose existence in Norman only further underscores his potential. Posada had a solid offer list but nothing to write home about. If he wasn't from Florida, I doubt people would have been as excited about him as they were (which was sort of muted to begin with). He would have had to drop some bad weight regardless the offensive system, but, in my honest opinion, he seemed like a guy who would be a good fit for the Michigan lines of old as a big bruising right tackle/guard whose production probably would top out with a year (maybe two of starting), with maybe a season of all-conference honorable mention. Being compared to the small town that was Alex Mitchell was never a good thing for Posada. In any case, we'll never know, and it's time for Hoke and Co. to keep on the remaining OL targets (Garnett, Banner, etc.).

CtK Day 12: 

J.B. Fitzgerald, "competing for a spot" at the MIKE position. Obviously, Demens is pretty much a lock there, but in the case of injury (no thanks, please) Fitzgerald is a seasoned vet who has seen some action despite not quite living up to his recruiting hype. Most backers figure to at least practice at multiple positions, and I'm sure the same is true for Fitzgerald. He is definitely a MIKE, but as mentioned earlier re: Jake Ryan, I get the feeling that the linebackers might have some flexibility as to what positions they will play. If Greg Robinson was still around I'd be displeased at the notion of linebackers switching positions, but I think we all have faith that Mattison will coach 'em up. Ideally, you want guys that can play multiple positions anyway. Physically, your WILL is going to be smaller and faster than the other two backers, but it's still possible to know all three positions and be able to play them if necessary due to injury, lackluster performance, etc.

Staying Put: 


In a statement put out on Friday, the conference announced its intention to stand pat with respect to conference expansion:

In response to a number of recent media inquiries received by several Big Ten Presidents and Chancellors regarding the likelihood of further expansion by the Big Ten, the COP/C would like to reiterate that it will not be actively engaged in conference expansion at this time, or at any time in the foreseeable future, barring a significant shift in the current intercollegiate athletic landscape.   

1) This is good news. 2) In this day and age, I've gotten so jaded that I don't believe anything that anyone says in the world of college football...I believe that they think they intend to stay at 12, but once the dominoes start to fall will Delaney be able to watch other conferences pick off the best schools? I don't think so. In any case, the whole "barring a significant shift" thing...yeah. That's gonna happen.

GET OFF MY LAWN: Okay, not quite, but Rittenberg talks about the Big Ten and how it's not like your father's Big Ten:

When Wisconsin's Bret Bielema attended his first Big Ten coaches meeting in 2006, he recalled Delany polling the coaches about whether they would favor a league championship game in the future.

"The only two guys who raised their hands were me and Ron Zook," Bielema said.

Zook being "ahead of the curve" on this (as ahead as you can be on something that has already existed elsewhere for quite a while) makes me second guess the validity of the Big Ten's current model. However, in all seriousness, it's hard to argue that the Big Ten hasn't done well for itself overall. Instant replay, the BTN, adding Nebraska, the establishment of Big Ten hockey, etc. Now, the only thing left to do is win a national championship for the first time in nine years. This isn't Bo and Woody, but then again in those days the Big Ten was Michigan, Ohio State and everybody else; I think the new status quo is better for everybody (as well as national perception). Brady Hoke comes in with a quote in response to Delany's lamentation of the NCAA issues at Michigan and Ohio State:

"It was toward all of us," Michigan's Brady Hoke said, "about how important the Big Ten brand is and how we want to respect our brand and how we want to operate and do business. … It was something we needed to hear."

"Brand"...slowly becoming the new "tremendous?"

More? Dr. Saturday starts his BlogPoll countdown...Mississippi State comes in at 24. The SEC West is going to be scary this year. The Spartans come in at 23: "This team could be any Dantonio team: The veteran pro-style quarterback under center, the between-the-tackles workhorse in the backfield, the largely anonymously but solid defense, etc. Check, check and check." James Wood on secularism and religiosity...sometimes I imagine Michigan State fans waking up in the middle of the night, sweating, wondering what the point of it all is (it, of course, being a Spartan fan). 11W previews the Ohio State offense in the post-Tressel/Pryor era. Verdict? "Cautiously optimistic."