Friday, May 4, 2012

Miscellaneous Minutiae, 5/4/2012

Dear Derek Dooley, Bo Ryan, et al: Please take some notes from the venerable Book of Richt. Richt, on the issue of transfer restrictions, quoth:
First of all, I think life is too short,” Richt explained. “I want every young man to have a successful time in his four- or five-year window to be able to go to college. So I don’t want to impede a guy from realizing his goals and his dreams, wherever it is." 
Yes, Mark Richt is essentially Ferris Bueller--"life moves pretty fast"--with a sensible haircut and khaki pants, pants sturdy and comfortable enough for the occasional mouth-covering act of relative immodesty. Not only has Richt been far ahead of his coaching peers on this matter, he has taken it a step further by putting in a good word for UGA players whom have looked to transfer to a school within the conference. In a perfect world, the aforementioned would not require the ol' italics of disbelief, but we all know that the world is not perfect. While Richt does not yet have a national title to his name, I've always rooted for him and UGA in the SEC because he represents a lonely island of propriety in a maelstrom of SEC malfeasance. The calls were for his job after 2010 were, and still are, completely idiotic. Appreciate what you have, UGA fans: a good coach and an apparently good dude.

In short, college coaches of America: take a page from the Good Book of Richt and maybe channel some of his abundant chill vibes while you're at it. I'm more than certain that he'd be willing to share with all of you.

Tommy Rees...yeah: I will refrain from the making the obvious jokes because others have already done it better than I ever could (in addition to the fact that I'm not a huge fan of making light of such things, anyway), but, if we're thinking about the football angle to this...does a Notre Dame team led by Gunner Kiel or Everett Golson really scare anyone? Anyone? No? Yeah, me neither. Say what you will about Rees's performance last year, but he without a doubt he gives ND a better chance to win in September than either Golson or Kiel do. This is of course all assuming that this incident will affect his status on the team, which I doubt that it will. However, you never know how the Random Wheel of Disciplinary Justice will spin.

Devin Gardner not a wide receiver...yet: I was shocked, SHOCKED, to find out that this Facebook post, supposedly on Devin Gardner's account, was a hoax. I was previously under the impression that everything on Facebook was not only inherently reliable but factually ironclad. The fact that somebody, somewhere, took the time to create a fake account and then attempt to write something that might sound authentic, ultimately coming up with:
"Looks like imma catch them TD's this year. ... Just certain packages. Our wide out core is going to be really solid this year.", quite frankly, hilarious (and more than a little bit sad). "Our wide out core is going to be really solid this year." I mean, what athlete would even say this? Someone should apologize for defaming Gardner's by portraying him as someone that cannot differentiate between "core" and "corps." If this proves anything, it's that the Devin Gardner to Wide Receiver Illuminati* is out in full force.

*Formerly known as--circa 2011--the Denard Robinson to Wide Receiver Illuminati.

Speaking of pathetic fan behavior: Please read this cringe-worthy cautionary tale about the one known as @Bdubstriviaguru and then proceed to never Tweet at recruits ever again (that is, if you are the sort to even do that in the first place). It's a weird thing to do, and you are weird if you do it, period. While I think the concept of the entire enterprise of recruiting is incredibly unsettling--not to mention the fact that random people on the Internet* can contact recruits in the name of said recruiting enterprises--I do admit to paying attention to it because you sort of have to lest you have your fandom questioned. I don't obsess about the minutiae of recruiting like I used to a few years ago, but I do keep up to date with Michigan's list of commits and the select group of players that seem like they will probably end up being commits at some point in the future. I'll read the MGoBlog "Hello" posts when they go up, and I'll usually at least skim the other recruiting posts, but...anything more involved than that and I start to feel very badly about the whole thing.

With that said, Tweeting at recruits or trying to contact them in any way is very, very weird (unless you know them in real life, of course). Just don't do it. Trust me, they'll be fine without being having "THE TEAM THE TEAM TEAM #GOBLUE #THEVICTORS" tweeted at them for the 927th time.

*By "random people" I mean those not affiliated with a major recruiting outlet (ESPN, Rivals, Scout, etc.). Covering recruiting is still a weird thing to do even if you are a person that works for those entities, but if you're just a guy on the Internet soliciting recruits for amateur interviews, well...that's just odd and I really do not support it. But, perhaps I am alone on this.

Brandon and Hollis hit the golf course: Well, this should be awesome. This is a veritable goldmine of meme and/or AD-related humor waiting to be harvested. Between Hollis's questionable caddying advice and DB's Arby's branded golf gear, I'm not sure what deserves to be tackled first.

MSU won the first B1G AD Golf Challenge last year, which means it's time for some revenge and, more importantly, bringing the trophy home where it belongs...which is Ann Arbor, I guess?

More? The cold existential dread of conference isolation should probably be a familiar feeling for the natives of Moscow, Idaho.

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