Tuesday, July 3, 2012



This has very little to do with football, but constitutes an important cause worthy of your time nonetheless. As I mentioned yesterday, a Sippin' on Purple post alerted me to a contest which would see to it that Pitbull would be sent to whichever local Walmart location received the most likes on its respective Facebook page. Yes, I know...contain your excitement for one moment. 

As of right now, the Walmart in Kodiak, AK has a whopping 47, 901 likes, and based on anecdotal evidence, seems to be firmly entrenched in first place. With that said, we all know that in these sorts of Internet contests, nefarious influences will always seek to rig the results for a cheap thrill. We cannot allow the people of Kodiak, AK to be robbed by such shadowy commanders of Internet bots and computer programming sorcery. 

If you haven't already, go like the Kodiak Walmart's Facebook page and like it. It takes but a second, but in doing so you will potentially be giving the proud natives of Kodiak with a memory that will last for a lifetime. 

I don't need to tell you what this means for you, the college football fan (but I'll tell you anyway). Once you get to Alaska, you're probably not leaving unless you play hockey or happen to be Carlos Boozer or Trajan Langdon. As far as I know, Pitbull is none of these things. As such, this would present a victory for the college football world. After doing some amateur research, my findings confirmed that 1 day in Alaska is equivalent to approximately one college football season. Even if Pitbull was able to un-exile himself from the wilds of Alaska, he'd return to the mainland as the season was over or nearly over. 

This, of course, means that Pitbull would be unable to pollute the college football airwaves with the real good time for which we never requested in the first place. Noon starts, fullback dives, and a real good sanctimonious rant are the only "real good time" we require, sir. By the time Pitbull's "Alaska day" expires, college football fans will already be arguing about whether or not Alabama should be allowed to play the Tennessee Volunteers for a third time in this season's national championship game.* 

You want a Pitbull-free college football season, don't you? Of course you do. Let's get this done, you guys. 


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