Showing posts with label PLEASE COME BACK FOOTBALL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PLEASE COME BACK FOOTBALL. Show all posts

Friday, August 2, 2013

Spring and Summer Give Way

BTN stage at the July 27, 2013, BTN Big10K in Chicago. (Fouad Egbaria)

It's been a long spring and summer (well, it's all relative), and so I haven't been doing a whole lot here since the basketball season ended. That is regrettable to me, even if this isn't exactly the most widely read thing in existence, but so it goes. 

My year at Medill is almost up, and I'm in the midst of a hunt for a job in the world of journalism, perhaps a funny thing to mention on, you know, a blog of all things. While I never imagined that I would go into journalism when I first started this thing before my senior year at Michigan in the summer of 2010, I've come to realize that my semi-regular ramblings here have cemented the notion that I can, sometimes, write well about sports, and that I might want to do this for a living. Then again, so does everyone else. 

In any case, while one thing comes to an end, another will soon begin. If you don't know what that thing is, then you are probably in the wrong place. 

This offseason was a strange one. With the looming specter of endless school work and the need to secure a job, paired with the Chicago Bulls' short but exciting playoff run and the Blackhawks' run to yet another Stanley Cup, this offseason flew by with startling swiftness. I'm sitting here on August 2, 2013, and Michigan's next football game is no longer an abstract mile marker on the horizon; it is a certainty. On August 31, Michigan will take the field again. The result will matter. People will be keeping score. 

The offseason has been another installment in the "Era of Good Feelings." Other than ongoing recruiting pyrotechnics, very little has happened, minus the injury of Jake Ryan; even he is miraculously predicted to return at some point in October. With the passing of Big Ten Media Days, we've gotten our fill of meticulously curated hype. Darboh, Chesson, Clark; as always, expectations will weigh on some more than others. 

Michigan has holes to fill and questions to answer, just like every other squad in college football. Who will bring the pass rush? Can Michigan run the ball when it needs to (or at all)? What will Fitzgerald Toussaint bring coming off of a fairly brutal injury? How will Michigan's last line of defense perform without mistake-eraser Jordan Kovacs? Can Devin Gardner take the next step as the unquestioned starter (something which has been in the cards for so long it might have been mentioned in the Epic of Gilgamesh)?

These are all valid questions, and in considering them we've all surely come up with our individual record predictions. What mine happens to be doesn't really matter, but I think it's safe to say that as long as Michigan avoids disaster at certain positions, 2013 will prove more successful than 2012. 

Michigan gets Ohio State, Nebraska and Notre Dame at home but must travel to Michigan State, Penn State, Northwestern (which might not be as much of a "home" game as it has been) and Iowa, who is down but has given Michigan trouble at Kinnick the last two times. Michigan has yet to lose at home under Brady Hoke, and will need to continue that trend in 2013 if it hopes to make its first trip to Indianapolis. 

And so, we enter this season with a formless batch of wholesale uncertainty mixed with quiet confidence. We know Devin Gardner can play, but can the Wolverines run the ball? We know Michigan can win at home, but can they win on the road? We know Michigan has young talent in spots where it didn't exist in recent years, but will it grow up fast enough to make a difference in 2013? 

Nobody has these answers but the Future, which thus far has a perfect record with respect to not disseminating spoilers. On the flip side, we'll have to keep waiting. Then again, four more weeks is but a moment in time. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

INDISPENSABLE RECRUITING ITEMS THAT YOU COULD DEFINITELY NOT LIVE WITHOUT

As you are most probably aware, this blog takes the business of recruiting with the utmost seriousness. There is nothing that an adult male can do to better prove their fandom than to obsessively track the actions of high school kids, and, as such, this blog definitely doesn't maintain a passive-aggressive relationship with the world of recruiting. Recruiting is serious business, and Holdin' the Rope certainly treats it as such.

After filling up on bread early on in the recruiting cycle, Brady Hoke and Co. have slowed down a bit in recent months. The Wolverines' last commitment came on the 21st of June, and in the months of April, May, and June, Hoke has picked up a total of six commitments. Of course, July has netted zero commitments, and has mostly been marked by baseless speculation and Twitterized tea leaf readings for Michigan recruitniks. Luckily, with the help of Holdin' the Rope's newly launched recruiting coverage effort, you, Mr. Michigan Man, will no longer have to live in the lightless dark of recruiting-related ignorance.

With that said, it is times like these when the recruiting soothsayers of the Internet truly prove their worth. With so few spots left to fill, and the remaining prospects naturally becoming more and more secretive about their thought processes as we got closer to next February, reliable recruiting information can be difficult to find. How do we know whether or not to feel happy or sad about our lives when such little recruiting news is out there for general consumption? Who do we even know to believe anymore in this increasingly cut-throat and unethical world of recruiting coverage? Well, Michigan fans: trust me. As soon as we here at HTR find out about something, we'll be the first to relay that information to your through a filter of useless prevarication, passive-aggressive non-statements, and retroactive chest thumping.
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First of all, let's get to the most pressing bit of news on the recruiting docket, news that HTR has acquired via weeks of sleuthing, interviews, and dedicated research and fact-checking. Are you ready? HTR recruiting scoop numero uno: within the next two weeks--maybe even the next two months or years--something is going to happen. That's right, folks, something is going to happen. As we say here at Holdin' the Rope whenever recruiting things are about to go down: fasten your safety belt.


Things are happening, we can promise you that. Now, for some added verisimilitude, here are some winking emoticons if you don't believe me by now. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) Do you get it yet? Read between the lines. Whatever you're thinking right now, it's that. Yeah, that. 

Now that I've dropped this recruiting bombshell on you, replete with all the subtle winks and vague assurances that you crave, it's time to move on to the interview portion of this week's recruiting update. After tweeting at various prospects--most of whom ignored or blocked me--I finally was able to secure an interview with Generic Everyman, a 4-star prospect out of Normal, OH. Everyman has garnered offers from some of the most impressive football programs in the country, and would represent a big coup--a word which totally has more meaning in reference to recruiting updates as opposed to the toppling of oppressive autocracies--if Hoke were to acquire his commitment (especially as another recruiting victory in the Buckeye state). 

Holdin' the Rope: So, Generic, tell me about your recruiting timetable? Are you thinking about making a decision soon to get it over with or are you going to wait it out until Signing Day? 

Generic Everyman: I'd like to make a decision soon, but I've been getting a lot of offers and I still need to sort through them all. Plus, Dad says I can't decide where I'm going to play football until I do my chores and my homework. I also want to spend some time thinking up a good away message for 
AIM. *

HTR: Sounds like you've got your head on straight. You sound like a Michigan Man already. 

GE: Yeah. 

HTR: What are your thoughts on Brady Hoke? Is he the coolest? 

GE: He's a cool guy. He talked about the tradition and academics of Michigan. My parents really liked that. Academics are really important to me. 

HTR: Academics are important to you, that's great. So, who would you say is in your top 10 right now? 

GE: Michigan, Alabama, Auburn, LSU, FSU, Southwest Crocodile State, Chick-fil-A, Arkansas, Tumbleweed State, and hush puppies. 

HTR: Hush puppies? That's not even a school. 

GE: Yeah, I know. They're my favorite food though. They're soooo good. 

HTR: Haha! Yeah, they are! Speaking of favorite things, all Michigan fans want to know: what's your favorite movie and why? 

GE: 21 Jump Street is probably my favorite. The acting is just so good. I didn't believe that that fat guy and that other guy could be friends, but they were in the movie and I believed it. That's just crazy. 

HTR: It is. Any other favorites?

GE: Well, I really like old school movies. I'm like a movie historian. 40 Year Old Virgin is a classic from way back in 2005. I love watching old movies just to see how people were a long time ago. 

HTR: Yeah, definitely. It sounds like you weren't kidding when you said you were serious about academics. 

GE: Yeah. It's important to me. 

HTR: Shifting back to football, do you have any visits to Michigan planned before you make your decision? 

GE: Yeah, I'm planning on coming up in September to visit for a game. 

HTR: Where would you say that Michigan is on your list so far? 

GE: They're on there. 

HTR: Oh, really? [ed: ;) ;) ;)]. Are they in your top 20? 

GE: Yes. 

HTR: Any other big news coming up for you? Are you excited about your senior season?

GE: Yeah. 

HTR: Well alright, thanks for talking to us. Good luck this season. 

GE: Well, it's not like I had a choice after you called my house 34 times in a row at 3 in the morning and tweeted at me non-stop Thanks. 

*This template may be outdated. 
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Well, there you have it folks. To recap this week's edifying recruiting update: 
  • Things are going to happen soon. I can't tell you what those things are because there are rules, but, rest assured, the skies are looking very BLUE these days ;). 
  • Generic Everyman has Michigan on his top 20 list. He wants to make a decision soon, but he might not make his decision soon. He likes Michigan, but he also likes hush puppies and Chick-fil-A, so it may be tough to pull him away from the other schools on his list. Southwest Crocodile State emptied its endowment recently to add a Chick-fil-A to its student union; they may be the school to beat for Everyman's services. However, they might also not be the school to beat. Stay tuned. 
  • GE's favorite movie is 21 Jump Street. Junior Hemingway wore the number 21 and was the frequent target of jump balls last year: could this be a sign? This type of expert symbology can only be found here at HTR's recruiting wing...or a Dan Brown novel! Of course, comparisons to Dan Brown can only mean good things, as he is an excellent writer, one that this humble self-anointed recruiting guru respects greatly!
  • Academics are very important to GE and his parents. This obviously puts Michigan in the driver's seat, as the other schools either don't match-up academically or aren't even schools.  

Whenever anything happens, we'll let you know after the fact with vague allusions to the things that we knew but couldn't tell you before because something something!

Things to look forward to in next week's recruiting update: an update on that thing that's going to happen in either the near, medium, or distant future; we'll check back in with Generic Everyman to see how that geometry quiz went; and, lastly, we've got some exclusive news about some recruits who might be feeling blue...but not the "blue" that you might think! ;) Stay tuned and remember: fasten your safety belt, because your never know when recruiting things may or may not happen.**

**;)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Take The Field

I decided to venture down into the rabbit hole that is "looking at Michigan football videos on Youtube"--a venture which usually starts with Wolverine Historian and somehow ends with me watching highlights from some Clemson game in the 1980s while "Comin' to Your City" blares ironically but depressingly in a second window. Football: please come back.

Anyway, when I was writing that Samuel L joke for yesterday's post, I decided to search for videos in which Carl Grapentine's voice is easy to hear, just because I needed a reminder of what standard issue Grapentine cadence and diction might sound like. I found this one from the UMass game in 2010.

To make a long story short, I went ahead and searched his name and found the above video of him doing a morning radio show in Oak Park, IL (which I had no idea he did). In fact, I realized that I really knew nothing about Carl Grapentine other than the fact that he is the one who dispassionately yet masterfully narrates what takes place in the Big House on fall Saturdays.

I watched and listened; it's truly amazing how starved for college football you can really get. Here I was, watching a video of Carl Grapentine doing a morning show, detailing the day's weather and various developments in the news--Hosni Mubarak, at that point--and I could close my eyes and feel as if I was in the Big House. Mubarak steps down, the Egyptian people on the coverage. It's 3rd down and democracy. 

I swear, I watched the above video and for a second felt like I was in the Big House as Grapentine talked about the weather, African-American composers and performers, and Hosni Mubarak. Whether you like him or not...that's a voice. You and I talk and make noises that are generally consistent in pitch, loudness, and expressiveness, but that doesn't mean that we have a voice. Having a voice is about as inherent as having 4.3 speed, and that's why Grapentine does what he does.


Another point, one that I'm not sure that I like so much: watching this video was my first time seeing Grapentine in the flesh. I sort of enjoyed not knowing what he looked like. To this day, I still have no idea what Howard King looks like. In a way, knowing what he looks like kind of spoils things a bit, deconstructs a bit of the romanticism, I guess, like telling someone how a card trick works. His voice used to be an entity in and of itself, detached from corporeal reality, as if it literally came from up above. I think I'll survive, though.

I know there are some anti-Grapentine folks out there in the fan base. I'm not really sure why that is the case. To be quite honest, Grapentine is about as purely Michigan as a football PA guy could be. I've always thought his understated not-quite-detachment but not-quite-boorish-WHO-WANTS-FREE-PIZZAAAAA to be the perfect blend of dignity, emotion, and narration. Grapentine has a smooth NPR-ish voice, exuding class and maybe even a little pretentiousness (both linchpins of the Michigan Man's persona). It's a voice capable of providing the historical background behind whatever the MMB's halftime show is based on that day, while also saying "Touchdown Michigan" in just about as perfect a manner as possible.

It's no wonder that the NPR descriptor comes to my mind, as apparently others agree that he has a voice for radio. I had no idea...you learn something new every day. In any case, like the "master blues men," I hope that Grapentine will be practicing his craft in the Big House for many years to come. There are few things more rewarding in sports than the Big House crowd going wild after a Denard touchdown, with Grapentine waiting a few seconds to say those glorious words amongst the din: Touchdown Michigan. 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

ESPN, Skip Bayless, and Where This Is All Going

It's the middle of June, well past the midpoint of this montrosity we call the "offseason" but nowhere near the beginning of actual, live football. As such, I may or may not write about things other than college football/basketball here between now and September. This will be one of those things. This is without a doubt a college football-centric enterprise--if an unremarkable blog such as this one can even be called an "enterprise"--but I am an ardent supporter/follower of other sports, namely professional basketball, football, baseball, and hockey. Whether this sort of devotion is healthy or even desirable for a human being is a question for another day. Nonetheless, I like sports and I like writing about them, and this is my place to do that, even if it goes by and large unread. Posts on these topics might not fit the general focus of this blog, but...what the heck. 
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As the pregame coverage of last night's Game 4 between the Heat and Thunder began, ESPN went courtside to Miami for a brief segment featuring those paragons of journalistic excellence, Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless. At this point, the blogosphere's main weapon in the fight against the MSM's unceasing inanity--the "fisking"--would be admittedly somewhat pointless here. We all know that Stephen A. and Skip are nothing more than actors playing a part, or "caricatures" as Chris of Burgeoning Wolverine Star put it last night. They are glorified provocateurs. However, if they were as universally reviled as many would hope, they would, in theory, not continue to appear on ESPN in their current forms.

Yet, it seems that it has come to a breaking point. Something about yesterday's brief segment struck me as absurd, even more than is normally the case re: SAS and Skip. As Stephen A. and Skip "debated" the issues, I became a little sad about the state of affairs in the world of sports coverage. I put the word debate in quotes because it is First Take's own descriptor for what supposedly goes on at that show. Before every segment, Jay Crawford (or whoever was the debate moderator on a given day), would say something like "so let's start the debate," something which would be said with the glee of a person about to engage in gossip rather than reasoned dialogue. Then Skip and whatever poor souls forced to confront him on that day would start to "debate." Maybe it's a semantic point, but I always laughed because it is always so forced and artificial. Actual debate needs no preface. Without delving too much into the world of politics, First Take is nothing more than a political Crossfire-esque show, rife with verbal gunshots fired indiscriminately and without any sort of pointedness or unifying rationale other than "I must win this debate." Perhaps the thing that took me aback the most is that the duo were outside of the controlled environment that is the First Take studio. I don't know if I've missed other such courtside appearances from these two during this NBA Finals series, but last night was the first time I noticed this. It was strange, as if ESPN was letting a genie outside of the First Take bottle, only instead of a genial, Robin Williams-voiced wish granting genie, ESPN was unleashing SAS and Skip on the masses. Pandora doesn't go back in the box.

I have already forgotten what exactly was said during this brief segment. As usual, it was full of histrionics and ridiculous assertions bereft of meaning, naked narratives showing the nitty gritty of their flawed infrastructures, stripped bare of anything that can be termed enlightening or meaningful. It sort of reminds me of the modern generic action movie trailer, which always features some combination of the following things: explosions, the protagonist making out with an attractive woman, the protagonist and his cohorts huddled around a table in a dimly-lit room discussing how they were going to get back at Generic Villain Guy for that thing that he did, and, finally, one last explosion which shows the protagonist heroically running away from said explosion and then doing some sort of front flip/outrageous dive (which, to me, is about as useful as sliding into first base as far as running away from explosions go). To make a long story short: they're both narratives without depth that are easily duplicable, never innovative, and almost always laughably bad.

Skip hemmed and hawed about something, and, as per the script, Stephen A. engaged in a series of what can most accurately be termed acting. He examined his cuticles, he feigned boredom, he looked off apathetically into the distance, his eyelids drooped in a gesture of faux sleepiness. The only thing he did not do was pull out a newspaper with a front page headline of "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?" and read while Skip yell-talked at him. Despite being completely useless as a piece of reporting, the entire thing was childish and unprofessional. Keep in mind, this is part of ESPN's coverage of the NBA Finals, the highest stage of basketball competition that exists anywhere in the known universe (not to knock the quality of competition on, say, Mars...I SEE YOU OLYMPUS MONS ACADEMY).

For all the good that ESPN has done for the sporting world over the years, the rise of Skip Bayless, Stephen A. Smith, and others of their ilk, represents a watershed moment for the world of sports. In spite of the efforts of other entities (i.e. NBC Sports), it appears that ESPN's monopoly on the coverage of the world of sports will continue to exist into the foreseeable future. The question is: what's next? Unfortunately, I feel that the "serious" sports fan's condition is akin to that of Vladimir and Estragon in Waiting For Godot; that is, waiting for something that will probably never come in a climate of tragicomic absurdity.

 It is clear that ESPN has long since made its choice: it has sold its soul to a cadre of actors masquerading as sports information disseminators. There are seemingly two equally unappealing long-term consequences of this conscious decision: 
  • ESPN will continue to give air time to these sorts of folks, much to the chagrin of the aforementioned "serious" fan. Sports coverage at the WWL will continue to stagnate. It will continue to be uninformative and centered around staged "debates," strong takes, psychoanalysis of guys paid to play a game, and platitudes. It will continue to be terrible, but there will also be no other options unless NBC Sports or some other entity really steps its game up (which seems unlikely). 
  • As the years pass--I'm talking long-term here--a new wave of sports personalities will replace the aforementioned provocateurs...only they will be no less terrible, generally. ESPN may gradually lose some viewers over time, but those losses will simply be offset by a new generation of fans who seek ESPN's brand of sports info-tainment.* Business will still be booming, and, again, nobody else will even be able to come close to matching the sorts of publicity, TV deals, etc. that ESPN can so lavishly bestow upon the sporting world's most profitable and popular brands (unfortunately, the NHL does not apparently fall under this umbrella). 
*You may point to Grantland as proof that "see, ESPN is trying!", but that just isn't enough, as laudable as that venture is. At this point, Grantland is still just filling a niche. Maybe I am being naive, but I feel like there can be so much more. 

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Aside from the at this point redundant "fisking" of folks like Bayless et al, this discussion brings perhaps the most important point to the fore: the role of the fan in sports media consumption. Where does this all go from here? If SB Nation's rise to prominence, the decline of traditional print media, and the mere existence of something like NBC Sports are any indication, there is no doubt that this isn't a business completely immune to the magic wand of progress and/or change. This is good news, but it does not mean that these things are enough to yield substantive change in the way that sports are covered. 

It is a little reductive, I admit, to divide all sports fans into "serious" and "miscellaneous sports entertainment seekers of varying seriousness." Still, it is a distinction that needs to be made, mostly vis-a-vis demographics. As the current generation of "serious" fans grows older, will the next generation follow in its footsteps? Will the current generation represent the last generation? What about the so called "other" fan, a group which would seem to span across all ages? As much as frequenters of "the blogs" universally mock the commenters of Yahoo!, ESPN, and other MSM outlets, the fact remains that it is 2012, and these sorts of people still exist in large numbers. A medical statistic from the Surgeon General for you**: the next time you find yourself amongst a large congregation of people, look to your left and then to your right. Odds are, one of these people has written a "CHRIS CHASE IS THE WORST PERSON EVER!!!!111!!111" comment somewhere on the Internet. 

Here's what it comes down to. ESPN's current chosen model of glitzy, Hollywood-ized sports coverage and subsidized trolling seems to be, in my mind, one with a limited ceiling. It has only been so successful because it has piggybacked onto ESPN's long legacy of what was at one point supposedly universally respected. This is not exactly Newton standing on the shoulders of giants, if you will, but you know what I mean. As the Skip and Stephen A. Show becomes more and more absurd in the eyes of more and more people, there just has to be a point when ESPN decides to tone it down or go in another direction. Or, maybe not. Either way, it seems that this strategical resource has already been voraciously tapped. I have no doubt that Skip will continue to say ridiculous things about Tim Tebow, Russell Westbrook, LeBron James, and others, but I think that even the Worst Sort of Fan will become tired of it all much sooner than ESPN would hope. 

At the same time, I have to question how much further the domain of the "serious" fan can advance. For the most part, yes, I am referring to the blogosphere. MGoBlog (and other team-specific independent blogs), SB Nation's recent expansion into the realm of original video content,  Grantland, and other non-traditional media, are all magnificent but seem to attract only a certain sort of fan. On second thought, it's not even about a "sort" of fan (i.e. quality), it's that anyone who is going to be a regular reader of MGoBlog, EDSBS, Grantland, and so on...probably already is one. Maybe I am being cynical***, but it seems as if these media are already, in a sense, tapped out. This, if accurate, is more than a little depressing, since the aforementioned MSM parallel in this discussion of ceilings is...Skip Bayless. The horror, the horror. 

So, it would seem that we are in for a bit of a standstill in the short to medium-term. I'm not sure where this all goes from here. Like most things on this planet, it seems that change will occur at a snail's pace and not before significant backlash, obstruction, and general difficulties. 

All we have at this point are a laundry list of questions. Is sports media and the sports fan a sort of feedback loop? That is, does the sports media mold the fan, or does the General Will of the fan--if one exists, which, given the ham-fisted distinctions I've made here, probably doesn't--directly force the hand of the sports media establishment? As a self-anointed "serious" fan, I have to say that I am skeptical about the latter. Thus, it logically follows that "change," a stand-in for "better," can only come from the establishment.**** Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some "pretending to not watch ESPN while waiting for my tardy friend Godot" to do. 

**May not be an actual statistic. 

***Also, now that I've reached the end here, I realize that perhaps I am underestimating the role of ESPN/traditional media's sizable head start on "new media," whether we're talking about blogs or any of their related variants. 

****All of this was probably better left to someone with some sort of Ph.D. on the subject, but...oh well. What's done is done.